Saying Goodbye too Soon
by PHX405
Summary: Tragedy strikes the day after Sherlock proposes to John.


Saying Goodbye too Soon

This was just a random idea I had and needed to get it out of my head. I've got more written so I may post that or I may leave it at this. That all depends on the responses I get.

One more thing, I'm no medical student or medical professional so for the sake of the story just go along with the medical parts of it.

Let me know what you guys think and if I should continue or not. Oh, and there are a couple swear words in this along with some possible OOCness.

A/N: I obviously don't own the Sherlock characters or any other characters mentioned, I'm just using them for fun. Also this is a GAY fan fiction so if that offends anyone I suggest not reading this. I also hope this offends no one and I apologise in advance if it does. I have nothing against homosexuality and I believe it doesn't matter who you love as long as you're happy and in love with that person. That's just me and I'm not willing to have a debate on the topic. Anyway, this has been too long so I hope you guys enjoy the story!

Sherlock fingered the small velvet box in his pants pocket. Tonight was the night he planned to propose to his long term boyfriend. To say he was nervous would be a major understatement and he had to use all self control to keep his hands and voice from shaking. Sherlock fingered the box one last time before looking over at his boyfriend, John. Tonight marked their five year anniversary and Sherlock had gone out of his way to make it special. They had dinner at a nice restaurant and were now walking through a park on the outskirts of London.

Sherlock took a steadying breath and looked up at the clear night sky. For the first time in months the stars and moon could be seen perfectly and Sherlock smiled. It was like the heavens even wanted to be a part of the special night.

John had stopped a couple paces behind Sherlock to take in the night sky view. Sherlock had been acting a little odd all evening but John just brushed it off as Sherlock wanting the anniversary to be perfect and just worried about messing it up somehow. John stared at Sherlock's moonlit profile and smiled his crooked smile. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have Sherlock and he wouldn't trade the past five years for anything.

John continued to stare at Sherlock's back and was about to walk forward when Sherlock turned around and re-traced the couple steps to stand in front of John. John noticed how Sherlock swallowed hard and how his eyes shined with many emotions. He was about to ask Sherlock what was wrong when Sherlock started talking quietly.

"John these past five years with you have been some of the best years of my life. Sure we've had our ups and downs, but what couple doesn't? We've emerged from fights with our relationship stronger and our feelings deeper." He pulled the box from his pocket and got down on one knee. John gasped and his eyes pricked with tears as he smiled. Sherlock continued as he opened the box and a gorgeous yet simple ring shown in the moonlight "John, I know our lives aren't exactly normal and our schedules are crazy, but I know we can make this work and I don't want to spend the rest of my life sharing this crazy adventure with anyone else. Mr. Watson will you do me the honour of marrying me?" Sherlock looked up through hopeful yet scared eyes.

John knew Sherlock was waiting for an answer, but he couldn't find his voice. Sherlock, by now, thought he had just made a huge mistake and said quietly with a tearful voice "Forget it. I...I'm sorry. I just thought..." He was cut off by John kissing him and saying "Yes I'll marry you!"

Sherlock looked shocked then he processed what John just said and pulled the ring from the box and put it on John's finger. Sherlock kissed John and said "I thought I made a mistake by asking you cause you took so long to reply."

John just gazed at Sherlock and burst out laughing. "I'm sorry. Your proposal was so heartfelt that I was, I guess, speechless. I love you and can't wait to marry you." John stole another kiss as they held hands and walked back to their flat. The black with silver hash marks, ring catching the occasional ray of moonlight.

The next morning found Sherlock lying alone in bed. The crumpled sheet covering his lower half as he laid in bed just reliving the night before. He was engaged and after they had shared the happy news with family and friends, the two had spent most of the night showing each other just how much they loved the other. Now Sherlock opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was a note addressed to him sitting on his boyf- no, fiancé pillow. He smiled at the new title and reached over to read the note.

'Sherlock, sorry I hope I didn't wake you when I left this morning. I had to be at work at 7. I love you and can't wait to see you tonight. Enjoy your day , love.

Yours forever,

-John '

Sherlock smiled even bigger. He truly had found the most caring man in all of London. And said man was his. Sherlock took a look at the clock and saw it was already 8am and he decided to get cleaned up for the day. After showering, shaving, and getting dressed he made his way to the kitchen to make some tea. As he waited he turned on the tv and some mindless soap opera was on. He rolled his eyes at the over dramatic actors.

A few minutes later as the kettle started whistling, his phone started going off like crazy. Putting the kettle aside, he pulled his phone from his pocket and frowned at the unknown number flashing on the screen. Usually he would refrain from answering an unknown number, but this time something told him he needed to answer.

"Hello?" He said and cursed internally for how shaky his voice sounded.

A female voice said "Is this Sherlock Holmes?"

"Yes it is. May I ask who's calling please?" Tom asked politely

"This is Kate from St. Bart's. Do you know a John Watson?"

Sherlock felt his throat closing up. These phone calls never ended well and he was scared. Swallowing his worry he said "Yes, he's my fiancé. Why? What happened?"

Kate said "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but he was in a really bad car accident this morning around 7am. I'm not allowed to give you his injuries over the phone, but Mr. Holmes you need to get here. Because I can say that it isn't looking like he has much time."

Sherlock's mind had shut down as soon as she said "I'm sorry". He said "On my way" and hung up.

His phone fell from his limp hand and clattered to the floor. He sank down and leaned his back against the wall of the kitchen. Tears were flowing rapidly from his eyes as he replayed the conversation he had just had.

The man he loved with all his heart, the man he had proposed to not even 24 hours ago, the man who had agreed to marry him, was now lying in a hospital bed dying.

His crying had turned to full out sobbing as he buried his head in his arms and let the tears come. He needed to pull himself together in order to drive. He was no good to John if he, too ended up in an accident. Sherlock slowly stood up and raced to the bedroom to grab his keys. As he turned to leave his eyes landed on a picture on their dresser. It was one of John dressed up as Khan and Sherlock dressed as Bilbo Baggins. It was taken the previous Halloween and the costume choices were a hit. They were laughing into the camera and Sherlock had pulled John close for the picture.

Sherlock tore his eyes from the happy memory and prayer that John would pull through and prove the doctors wrong and that they would get married and have many more memories. Sherlock refused to let any negative thoughts cross his mind as he locked the flat and hopped onto his motorcycle. Revving the engine he took off, breaking every speed limit and praying his fiancé would make it.

Thirty minutes and one speeding ticket later, Sherlock was running into the ER waiting room. He went up to the nurse behind the desk and said "I'm Sherlock and I just got a call saying John Watson was here due to a car accident." He watched as the nurse gave him a sad, sympathetic smile as she typed some information into her computer.

"Mr. Watson is in the ICU room 221. Ask for Kate when you get up there and she will fill you in." With that the nurse pressed a button and a door to Sherlock's left opened. He dashed through it and a minute later was in the ICU waiting room asking for Kate.

Kate turned out to be short, red head who gave Sherlock such a sad look that Sherlock was about to ask if John had gotten worse. She motioned for Sherlock to follow her into a side room where she closed the door and told him to sit down in one of five chairs. He did as he was told and that's when Kate gave him the heart wrenching news he'd been dreading.

"John had been passing through and intersection when a dump truck ran a red light and hit John's cab on the back passenger side. They had the right of way and as we just found out the driver of the dump truck had stolen the vehicle as an escape from a high speed chase from early this morning. Sherlock, John was unresponsive when EMS reached the scene and they were about to call it when one found a slight pulse. On the ride here, his heart stopped twice and they managed to bring him back. Once reaching the ER he needed emergency surgery and they lost him for almost a minute 45 before getting him back." She paused to let Sherlock take in what she just told him.

A car jacker had nearly taken John from him, not once, but four times! He felt anger and fear whelling up in him and he tried not to let it show. He gave Kate a look and she continued.

"The surgery was to fix major internal bleeding, eight broken ribs had punctured both his lungs which caused cardiac arrest and for him to be put on a respirator. He also has a shattered right femur, fractured left ankle and knee cap, and his right arm is completely shattered. His liver and spleen were damaged due to the broken ribs. Part of his spleen was removed and part of his liver as well."

Kate knew Sherlock was terrified by his fiancé's injuries and internally applauded him for keeping it together, at least on the outside.

"That's not all. His back is one of our main concerns seeing as it was broken." At that Sherlock gasped and felt tears making their way down his face. Kate handed him a tissue and said "I'm sorry to say at this point we don't know the extent of that injury. We won't know until or if he wakes up."

Sherlock glared at her when she said "if" but kept his mouth shut. He knew if he opened his mouth at this point he would say hurtful things to the woman trying to save his fiancé.

"Now you said that's one of your main concerns. What's the other?" Sherlock asked quietly.

Kate said "There's bleeding in his brain." Whatever Sherlock expected, it wasn't that. He let out a sob and that's when he lost it. He slumped over with his arms on his legs and his head down. He felt Kate touch his hunched back gently and asked "I'm almost finished. Would you like me to continue or would you like a moment?"

Sherlock looked at her and said "please continue. I need to know." Kate nodded and went on.

"There's bleeding in his brain due to the impact and how hard his head hit the steering wheel. We had to shave part of his hair in order to relieve the blood and pressure. As of right now that's all dissipating which is good, but we are keeping a close eye on it because he also has a major concussion. Before I take you to see him, I want you to know his chances are not looking good. As of right now, he'll be lucky to make it though the night." Sherlock let more tears stream down his face when he heard that. How could their lives change so drastically within hours? He wasn't ready to say goodbye. He wasn't ready to live a life without John. He just plain wasn't ready.

"I know I just unleashed quite a bit on you, but I can take you to see him now and then you can ask any questions you have."

Sherlock gave her a grateful nod and stood up and headed for the door. As his hand touched the handle Kate said "Mr. Holmes there is one more thing." He turned around and that's when she gave him the one thing that shattered his heart.

The small bag contained John's engagement ring. It was no longer shiny, but covered in dark, dried blood. Blood even coated the entire inside of the bag. His strangled sob echoed around the room as he clutched the bag in his fist. With his head down he said desperately "Please, let me see him"

Kate led the way and came to a stop outside a closed door. She turned to face Sherlock and said "Just be prepared" she opened the door and walked away. Her words floating in his head as he took in the double meaning. Sherlock's eyes landed on John and he almost collapsed at the sight before him. He quickly made his way to John's bedside, sat in the god awful chair, and took John's cold hand in his. Sherlock gave it a gentle squeeze and said "I'm here love and I'm not leaving until you wake up and are cleared to come home. You hear that? I'm not leaving here and going home without you. It's not an option. You're going to prove the doctors wrong and then we're going to get married and put this nightmare behind us. That sounds good right?"

His only response was the beeping from the machines surrounding John. The worse one being the tube stuck down John's throat helping him breathe. Just knowing he couldn't breathe on his own scared Sherlock even more. More than the casts and bandages and stitches and cuts and bruises covering almost every inch of the man. Seeing the love of his life like this had Sherlock seeing red.

John was an innocent driver and then within minutes that changed all because some bastard thought it a good idea to race a stolen dump truck through a red light. He wanted the bastard to pay for what he did but Sherlock had bigger priorities at the moment. Those priorities included making sure John stayed alive and that he'd get the chance to see John's gorgeous eyes, and hear his laugh again. Not to mention having John kiss him and tell him how much he loved Sherlock. The main thing though, was to see John dressed in a tux on their wedding day. That mental image made Sherlock grin slightly as he looked at John's still face and closed eyes.

Sherlock decided to try talking to John to let him know that he wasn't alone "John, I want to start by saying I love you so much. I meant what I said in my proposal and this this is just another hurdle we have to get through. John please wake up. You can't leave me, not yet. Not when you just agreed to marry me. We haven't even started the rest of our lives yet. You mean the world to me and my world is at a standstill right now and I hate it. It hurts seeing you like this. My world would crash down if you don't make it. Please John, please pull through. I'm barely keeping it together right now, I don't want to find out what would happen if you don't make it. I need you John. I love you and I can't wait to marry you and there's still so much we haven't done. God, there's so much I've never said to you and as cliché as it is, it's true."

"You came into my life five years ago and my life got so much better. You make my days brighter and I love when you leave little notes for me when you have to leave the house early for work. I love waking up to your head on my chest and smile on your face as you sleep. Last night was one of the best nights of my life and when I say 'one if the best' I want you to know that the best day is yet to come." He paused and held John's hand a little tighter and looked at the bag still clutched in his right hand.

"You know, your nurse just handed me a bag that contains your ring. You have no idea the physical pain that shot through me when I took the bag. Not even 24 hours ago I was slipping this ring on your finger. You need to wake up so I can do it again. John, love, I'm begging you to please wake up. I'm falling apart already and I don't like it. I miss you and yet you're right here. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I'm not ready to loose the one person I love with all my heart. Trust me I would switch places with you if I could, but then this would be you saying all this and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Just know that I love you forever and I'm not leaving. I didn't even get to say goodbye to you this morning or give you a kiss as you left. That's another reason you have to stay, so I can kiss you again and love you and tell you to have a great day at work."

"John, god, please don't leave me. I don't want to find someone else. I doubt anyone would be as carefree and kind and all around 'you'. I refuse to say goodbye. John Watson, I love you and..." His words were cut off by a soft squeeze on his hand. Sherlock looked at the hand holding John's then back at John's face. Sherlock swore he saw the ghost of a smile grace John's face. Before he could continue his speech, a loud constant beeping noise caught his attention. He looked at the heart monitor and was horrified to see it flatlining. He raced to the door and screamed for help.

Kate pushed him aside and several doctors and nurses rushed to save John for a fifth time. Sherlock was forced to watch from the doorway. What seemed like hours passed before one doctor said "I'll call it. 9:56 am" At those words the other doctors and nurses squeezed past Sherlock and gave him sad looks.

Sherlock ran back into the room just in time to see Kate drape a sheet over John. Sherlock's pain filled cry of "No! No no no no!" was heard by anyone in the nearby hallway area. He turned to Kate with a devastated look on his face. She left the room and closed the door behind her knowing Sherlock needed the privacy to say his goodbyes.

Sherlock paused for a second before pulling the sheet away from John's face. Sherlock fell to his knees at the sight of John's lifeless face. Sherlock let out a sob as he said angrily "You were supposed to prove the doctors wrong! You were supposed to marry me and we were going to live our crazy lives. You were not supposed to leave me alone! Not like this, not because of some nameless bastard. 24 hours ago we were planning a wedding now you're forcing me to make funeral plans instead. John, please, don't make me do this. I can't do this alone." Sherlock buried his head in John's still chest and cried. "I love you so much and I don't think I'll ever stop. Five years wasn't enough time with you. I miss you already and I'm already crying like crazy. I...I want you to know that I wouldn't change anything about the past five years. You have my word that I'll cherish our memories and time together."

Sherlock lifted his head from John's chest and planted a light kiss on John's cold, and slightly blue lips. The feeling was so wrong, but at the moment Sherlock ignored it and tried to focus on how John's lips would fit perfectly with his and that memory brought a fresh wave of tears as he realized he'd never feel John's lips moving against his ever again.


End file.
